I didn't see it coming. It was end of March 2025. Three weeks before, I was giving a presentation in front of international students about my successful career path as a foreigner at my Finnish employer.

Now I was told that due to an organizational change my position will be discontinued.
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At the beginning of the year, I was still hiring to my team - now I will be open to work myself.
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The news spread quickly within the company. I suddenly received so much help, support and appreciating words from so many other colleagues, who had very much appreciated my work, that it was even overwhelming. I saw my own 5 team members that I was leading absolutely sad about these news. Telling me I was “the best manager they ever had”. Giving me the feeling that I have nothing to regret and can be so proud of the work I have done. Leaving me with a feeling of gratitude towards them – rather than being pissed on my boss and one or two other individuals who made the decision about my resignation.
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While, of course, knowing that I am facing unemployment triggered many thoughts;

"What if I never find a job again?!?!??!!!" (Come on, I am 35!)
"Should I move to Sweden?!? Or Amsterdam?!?" (Not even sure why I came up with those places!)
"This would be so EMBARRASSING to share with anyone! I always tell people that I give good tips for
job applications because I am a hiring manager myself! - What would the people think?????????"

And this is the reason, why I want to talk about this taboo topic.

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No, it is not embarrassing. It can happen that you lose your job. It's part of life. Maybe something similar has happened to you as well.
And that someone doesn't want to work with you anymore, doesn't tell anything about your value as a human being!
When I received the news about my lay-off, I had no idea what will happen during the coming months. Which new opportunities will come up. How many job applications I will have to write myself. If this will be a sprint or a marathon.
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I just had to deal with it. Somehow.

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Here is what I did first:
I cried.

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Yes, honestly.

After the news fully arrived in my brain, I just sat down and let it all out:
The fear of uncertainty. The sadness to lose my team. The pain of seeing their reactions, which was heartbreaking. The disappointment about the practice that my company applies. The anger and frustration of feeling misunderstood and not recognized at all by my own boss.
I cried it all out.
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And that would really be what I would recommend to everyone in the same situation. Grab yourself a big box of tissues and go for it. You will feel lighter afterwards!

I believe it is important to process these emotions to get a clear mind again. Don't swallow them down. They will lie heavy on your heart.
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Then, I thought about my possibilities. What is in my area of influence? Can I continue in the company in another department? What jobs are open in other companies? Or should I consider to run my own business?
I reached out to people to discuss these possibilities. Who can help me with those or give me a good advice?
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Further, I asked for references. Colleagues who gave me really nice verbal feedbacks at work were willing to write me a recommendation on my LinkedIn profile or act as a reference contact for my future job applications.
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I also contacted my trade union to provide me legal advice in this situation to claim all my rights and what exactly I have to do now according to the Finnish labour law.

And most important, I managed to ‘become friends’ with my new situation. I got used to the feeling of uncertainty – and very quickly saw many opportunities in it about what to do next with my life. I noticed how privileged I actually am and how much freedom I have.
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I could go anywhere I want with my German passport.
I am not tied to my employer, or Helsinki, or Finland.
I don't have a partner, I don't have kids, I don't even own a house or a flat. But I have savings.
I could just go and travel the world.
Or fully move to another country.
Go for employment again
Or start my own business.

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A few months passed and very recently I got asked by a good friend “Do you feel anxious about your coming unemployment?”
I listened inside myself before I answered... "No, I don't."
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I really don't anymore. It' more a feeling of curiosity for exploring new opportunities. Excitement what might be possible. Maybe a little nervousness as well if things will figure out. But not anxiety.

Reflecting on my life, I have the feeling that I have been through enough sh*t (excuse my French!) during the last couple of years that I have established a deep trust in myself that whatever happens, I will be able to manage it.

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I have faced money issues when I moved from Germany to Finland in 2019.
I have survived the years of the pandemic living alone abroad struggling with social isolation.
I have experienced heart breaks and suffered in a toxic relationship.
I have once suffered at work under a narcissistic boss.
I needed to process the death of two loved relatives last year alone while my family was 1000 kilometres away.

Sometimes you just need to sit at home, cry and go through sadness and tough moments. But you can trust that there will always be better days, even if you have no idea yet, how they will arrive.
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So, what’s next for me after I become unemployed?
I have finally made the decision to not apply for jobs in the corporate world again. I got a bit tired of company politics and especially bad leaders. Instead, I will become an entrepreneur and scale up my side hustle as a career coach, that I had besides my full-time during the last couple of years. Especially with the mission to support employees to showcase their true value in the best possible way so that they can choose the workplace that fits best to them – with zero tolerance for bad leadership!

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And if there will be a struggle - give it to me, baby, I am confident that it will be alright in the end.

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