I have felt like the Little Mermaid who gave away her voice.
Not to be with a man, but to survive in the world.
I have silenced myself in business. In my relationships.
I have hidden behind excuses so that you definitely would not see me.
I have been lost in all the stories I should, would, and could have told you already.
But the words I wanted to say to you have not fully come out.
When I opened my mouth, sometimes the only voice you could hear was a quiet breath.
I have been terrified that you would TRULY see me.
Because…
What if you don’t like me?
What if you think I am crazy?
What if you are mean to me and tell all the others to reject me?
What if I am left alone?
But after a long path of self-healing, here I am.
My voice is open.
Hear it.
It is speaking to you.
A few years ago, in my clairvoyant vision, I saw myself on stage, speaking in front of a large audience.
This vision appeared out of nowhere. Unexpectedly.
But I immediately knew it was my soul’s desire.
It was echoing so deeply inside me.
I saw how my voice would help other women heal.
It wasn’t just me who saw it.
One by one, other clairvoyants and people told me that I belonged to the stage.
Alone.
I felt the magnetism that was drawing me into that world. I knew I had a message to be shared.
But in my body, that felt like a death sentence.
The voice in my mind was saying: “You are not special, Essi. No one will listen to you. You do not have anything new to bring to this world. What would you even speak about?”
I felt lost between my desire and reality.
A few months passed, and Katja Presnal and I started talking about me writing a column for Crush. She is not a clairvoyant — or maybe she just doesn’t admit it — but she saw potential in me that, back then, I was scared to see.
Crush felt like the bridge I had been searching for, a way to safely take steps toward my vision.
She gave me my first public speaking gig in Crush 2024 and then a big part of the 2025 event space, so I could share my healing gifts more openly.
But as she and I are pioneers, the column idea was seen way before we were ready —
Me, her, Crush.
More time passed by. And I continued my self-healing journey.
Until a month ago, she sent me a message and said,
“Are you still in, Essi? It is time.”
Was I ready? God, no!
No one is ever fully ready if fear is involved.
But my soul’s desire was stronger than my fear.
It did not want to hide any longer.
And I told Katja, “Yes, I am ready, but it will not be a column where I just write. I will be speaking.
Actually, I will channel messages from the Universe, as I speak.”
From my own journey, I have learned that if you silence yourself, you are not in your power, and you cannot show up authentically.
You are hiding parts of yourself. And that has a cost:
And these are the moments when something inside starts to ache.
Because, just like my soul, your soul knows you were never meant to hide.
My public channelings are here to align you with who you truly are — your power and the path you are meant to walk. They are messages from the Divine Feminine Council I am connected to. All you need to do is to close your eyes, listen to my voice, and receive healing.
Dare to Be Yourself — Pilot Group Coaching starting in November!
I’m creating a small, intimate pilot group for women who long to feel a deeper connection with themselves and who are ready to be seen and heard in their full, authentic power. This coaching journey takes you deep into your feminine energy: slowing down, receiving, tuning into intuition, surrendering, and helps you balance it with your masculine side of doing, strategy, and clear action.
We’ll directly connect this inner work with your business through marketing: you choose a marketing channel where you want to show up, and I help you find your natural way to be visible as you are and create from your true self. You’ll begin sharing your real voice already during the course.
This coaching happens live online, and we begin in early November.
Spaces are limited for this pilot. To learn more, email essi@essikoskilammi.com.
![[headshot] image of customer (for a landscaping service)](https://cdn.prod.website-files.com/6874a52f3965fab31cf07b31/68ed08cd93852b989adfe2c1_meditation%20essi.png){kind=small}
Essi Koski-Lammi is a Feminine Executive & Business Coach, Wellbeing Trailblazer, Intuitive Healer, and Conscious Interior Designer. Through her work, she helps women entrepreneurs reconnect with their inner wisdom and bring that alignment into the way they live, lead, and build their businesses. Her approach integrates business and marketing strategy, conscious design, feminine leadership, and deep inner work to create true Spaces of Wellbeing. Read more: www.essikoskilammi.com
One day. 200+ rebel leaders. Endless possibilities. Crush 2026 brings together the trailblazers, thought-leaders, and disruptors who are building businesses that matter. Connect with people who will push your thinking, expand your network, and inspire your next big move. This isn't just another conference—it's where change happens.
